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NinjaPhobos
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Name: Chase
Country: United States
State: Arkansas
Metro: Fayetteville
Birthday: 11/2/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: J.R.R. Tolkein, Biblical/Religious Studies, Guitar, Violin, Archaeology, WOMEN!!!, William Faulkner, Jars of Clay, Pink Floyd, Techno/Trance, Anime, Duck Tape Apparel/Weapons, Life Support Systems, Prosthetics, Language Theory
Expertise: licking stamps, eating the excess off bologna wrappers, intermittent shaving, intermittent bathing, intermittent clothes-washing, intermittent shouting of random phrases, all things intermittent...
Occupation: Engineering
Industry: Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  sideshowcmd
MSN: sideshowcmd@hotmail.com
ICQ:  1370300344
Yahoo:  sideshowcmd
Member Since:
2/19/2005
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| I think sometimes the truth can be staring you right in the face and
you'll never see it. Sometimes the things that are truest get so close
you can't seem to find them. Like my gym shorts...which are still
missing, though I know I brought them home from the lake...and like
God, who sometimes seems to be missing, too. What can you say to the
disillusioned? How do you convince someone that sleepless reason is the
thing that creates monsters, not the sleep of reason? How do you strike
the balance between logic and faith? And how do you learn to admit and
acknowledge that your own faith is inadequate? How do you convince a
moral man he's in sin? How do you prove to someone you barely know that
some ethereal spirit is active in their life? Who am I to even say such
a thing?
I have a friend who was a great leader and teacher in his own right. He
was a prophet that his friends couldn't see. Though he rarely took pay
for his own services, those he wanted to trust most called him greedy.
Though he sacrificed his own health and family for the sake of his
ministry, his weaknesses were exploited rather than buttressed by his
followers. They used his age and their relationships with him to limit
his influence on their lives. And whether he responded or not to the
allegations brought against him, either choice simply widened the
division. It has now gotten to the point where he questions everything
he once stood so strongly for. It shows his weakness for what it was,
and though we all might point the finger, we fail to recognize our own
folly in the meantime. I cannot judge him harshly, because in his
situation, I might react the same. I disagree with his decision, but I
cannot blame him. When a man fears for those he influenced so
positively, it shows the depth to which he has been torn. The very
fabric of his former existence has been ripped into tatters by those
who called him friend...and though he had a hand in his own
destruction, I can't help but think that our own selfishness is largely
to blame. I keep in contact with him for the sake of hoping to further
his recovery, and though, as I said, I disagree with his decisions, I
more and more align with his case. There is great weakness in us all.
Though we want to reject that idea, and claim we are blameless, as
roaches flee from the light so our weaknesses run from the truth of the
matter. While we became complacent with the way things were, a man
slowly, silently died spiritually. We saw it coming, but did little. We
knew the stakes he was risking to give us all that he did, but because
he didn't fit our perception of what the standards should be, he was
largely ridiculed for his efforts.
Why, in a place where we are supposed to be most free to express our
wants, our needs, our desires, our failings, and our weaknesses, do we
feel that we have to hide them in order to prevent those who claim to
love us from rejecting us outright? Why is it that we point the finger
at people we know to be hypocrites, while failing to recognize our own
hypocrisy? Why do we even bother saying we will pray for someone if we
have no intention of doing so, or of doing so only once? How is it that
we, who are supposed to have thrown off the cares and divisive issues
of this world, are often the greatest examples of everything wrong with
it? How can we dare to be so callous to our brothers and sisters in
this life? How can we stand to sit by and allow our neighbors to wallow
in misery and pain and insecurity and doubt? Why are we not up in arms
over the state of our nation's poor? Who do we expect to fight for the
orphans and the widows if we fail to lift a finger in order to change
their lives? How can we see children asking for food and give them a
stone? How can we see a cold man on the side of the road shivering and
simply tell him to go find shelter? How dare we complain when our lives
go the opposite of what we planned? How dare we squander these amazing
opportunities we've been given in life? How can we be content to allow
this world to simply govern itself without our influence? How can we
deny our own brokenness? How true are the words that in order to gain
the world you must lose your very soul? How weak must we truly be to
revel in the satisfaction of our own selfish devices while condemning
the selfish acts of others? How can we live with injustice? How can we
accept the fact that freedom is taken away in the name of freedom being
given? How can we accept that a life is taken when we choose not to
act? Why have we closed ourselves off and shut out our neighbors? Why
are we not out there in the bars and the red light districts giving
hope to the hopeless and help to the helpless? Why is there no outcry
at the great moral poverty of this nation from those claiming to be the
messengers of God? What hypocritical delusion must we live in to revile
the homeless and the unsightly when that very ugliness resides in our
whitewashed tomb of a soul? How can we spend so much money on
ourselves, but claim to have not enough to help those truly in need?
Why do we not rely on the faith we claim to have for more of our
sustenance? How can we fear to give of ourselves for the greater good
when it's the only thing asked of us by one who gave up his own life
for us? How can we, who know better than any other what our own bodies
are capable of becoming, belittle those who have yet to find the
answer? How can our hearts not break at the thought and rather pity and
love and seek to befriend the lost? How can we disown the weak in faith
rather than counsel them and show them the rationality of belief in a
love and a life and a purpose greater than ourselves? Where are the
true and loving prophets of our time? How can you respond to these
allegations? Are you brave enough to admit your own guilt? Are you
strong enough to weep at your own failure and keep your sanity? Are you
willing enough to seek out the resolution? Are you open enough to
accept the great burden of becoming a revolutionary? Are you ready to
sacrifice your reputation and success in this world in order to do what
you know to be necessary? Are you honest enough with yourself to
acknowledge the imperative of your own action and the risk of your own
inaction? Do you realize that while you alone must take a stand and
that it is impossible for you alone to accomplish anything, that you
are not alone?
And finally, how long must this continue and how bad does it have to
get before you get off your pompous, lying, selfish, lazy asses and do
something about it? | | |
| I wrote this one night after thinking up the last few lines first...as usually happens with stuff that I write.
My hands are dry, as are my eyes.
I've grown weary of my own creation.
Slender fingers touch my face,
The worried lines I can't erase.
Electric hum and tepid air
A shaky hand and fading hair
Alone at night and day, I swear
And aching joints beyond repair.
Pull out a buck and a half in change
The profit of all of my toil today.
I try to shake the jeering cries
Before tomorrow's morning rise.
I hit the bed turn out the light
And plunge myself into the night.
This is the state of one man's mind
Who tried and failed to touch the sky.
But who am I to place the blame?
And what's the sky when you've got fame? | | |
| Oh, to be able to write poetry like this...
Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to thee.
Take my moments and my days
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.
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| I tried...I tried...
But I failed...I failed...
It's like walking on ice, it sucks
It's like breathing underwater
I tried...
I live...I live...
And I breathe...I breathe...
But is living really life?
And is breath really breathing
without You?
When will I learn to accept my mistakes?
When will I learn to accept Your grace?
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| Houston Nutt + Darren McFadden + Peyton Hillis + (LSU - Glenn Dorsey) = Win
Houston Nutt + Win Over #1 LSU + Incredulous Fans = Resign
Jeff Long + Chuck Neinas + (Atlanta Falcons - Michael Vick) = Bobby Petrino
Bobby Petrino + Arkansas Razorbacks = COACH
Yes, as of 10:30PM December 11, 2007, Bobby Petrino is the 30th head coach of the Arkansas Razorback football team.
GO HOGS!
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